Appraise a house in just 10 minutes or your money back! If you can count doorknobs and measure windows, you too, can become a professional appraiser. Or so declares an Illinois Township Assessor, who has developed a simple method to calculate the value of a single-family residence. Simply multiply the number of square inches of glass in a home by the number of doorknobs. That’s it! You automatically have the assessed value of the home at one-third of market value.
The Ground Rules:
• A typical door has a knob on each side, so you would count both
• Fancy handles do qualify and can be included in the count
• Don’t forget closet doors, which typically have only one knob
• When measuring glass, be sure to include mirrors attached to the walls
For example, a typical new home has approximately 30 doorknobs and 2,500 square inches of glass. When you multiply 30 x 2,500, you get an assessment of $75,000. Multiply this figure by 3 to reflect the market value ($225,000). Older or more modest homes tend to have fewer rooms (hence, fewer doorknobs and glass) and would yield lower values. Larger homes have more rooms and, well, you get the picture.
Before you quit your day job, be forewarned: The fundamental principles of this technique are still in the experimental stages. It is yet to be determined whether constitutional law will allow appraisals based on the Glass & Knob technique. Nor is this technique applicable to commercial or industrial property.